TRAVEL... it takes me away

It is difficult to describe what occurs in my heart when I have the privilege of sitting down with friends who have recently returned from their travels. It could be for the weekend or for the year, but something goes crazy in me.

Its like the individual telling the story is still in the country, state, city they are describing to me and they throw a rope to me. I grab hold and the tighter I grasp (the more intentionally I listen), the more quickly I have stepped in to the location they are describing. The food teases my taste buds, the dusty roads fill my nostrils, the accents fill my ears and the peoples stories overwhelm my emotions.

There is a woman in Central African Republic who stands as a beacon of hope amongst a broken people. It would take hours and hours to fly to this nation located in the center of Africa; in the center of war torn nations and evils that I can hardly believe are realities. Yet hope stands in the middle. Amidst the crocodiles and snakes, amidst the banana leaves and waterfalls, amidst the hunger and witchcraft. Hope is there and I want to meet it.

There is a trip that takes you away for multiple months and you do not know what each day holds. But the flavors, colors, architecture, backpackers, missed trains and planes, marketplaces, all that is new awaits you. You are free to discover the next block without appointment or gladly accept the next conversation without a watch. You discover self and God in all the ways one would not expect. I love the lack of routine and desire to experience it again.

I hardly knew that I was gasping for the air that the stories I heard this week provided. Breathing in the sweet dreams of my stories yet to come is life to me, who I am, what I've been created to do and I can hardly wait to see what is next.

Hug Me

Last night I received the biggest, longest hug I've ever had and I never knew so many emotions could happen in so relatively short a moment.

I came in to the small room full of so many wonderful people I gave a couple hugs and greetings. And then I saw the man with the shiny head, grayish gotee and dancing eyes get up and he was so happy to see me. He hugged me so big it lifted me up off the ground!

So I started out with a big smile, because I love hugs from this person (he's like a second father to me), but then he didn't let go, he just kept holding the embrace and I went from smiling to melting and then nearly found myself in tears as I closed my eyes and held on tight experiencing the warm, unencumbered, unconditional embrace of a father.

It was so pure and left me feeling almost guilty for wanting to have stayed in that spot for so much longer. Who gets to feel that way any more? I don't even recall feeling that desire as a child. When I was younger, I knew I was loved, but to feel it is so different and leaves you so vulnerable; reflecting on all the past moments when you simply wanted to leave the world behind and know you were safe in daddy's arms.

We all grow up too fast; hearing, seeing, experiencing that which was not intended. But last night, even if it was for a moment, I was a child again, wrapped up safely in a bear hug.

Thank you.

Monhegan Reflections

Light

It bounces off the rocks and the shingles,

Electrifies the birds above;

On the shore.

Golds, greens, weathered brown

Contrast to the blue of the deep and white of the spray.

Simple.

Quiet.

All consuming light.

Cooling

Even chilling breeze upon the cheek,

Morning haze above the roofs.

Light on a hill.

Warning.

Guiding.

Filtering ray through thick tree.

Smiling, worn, dirty hands tending the ground;

Wisdom in gray and soil.

Love as light.

Embracing.

Simple.

Laughter.

Outward heart,

Joining hands.

Light smiling, whispering;

Telling of the beauty present and to come.

Light on my heart,

Light in my step.

Family Is Always More Important Than...

I've learned a valuable lesson these last couple months: Material possessions are never more important than family, even if it is a cool boat.

Co-owning big items with friends and family can be awesome! But one party can end up in a financial situation that they never planned on and the other party can find themselves in a predicament they never intended to be. Tense and sometimes heartbreaking conversations follow suit.

Maybe we're wrong or right, maybe we're offended, maybe it was handled poorly, maybe there are things from the past that warrant one party treating the other party a certain way or getting something out of it. None of the arguments are worth losing family over. After all, things come and go, but when you desire to see your nephew grow up or spend quality time over a turkey dinner with your brother and sister, things, even if they are worth thousands, mean nothing.

It hasn't been the easiest situation, but we are soon to be sole owners of a once shared ownership boat. By the grace of God, I hope that we have been humble enough to keep the relationship in tact. I know we are more thankful than ever to have the pleasure of experiencing life from the perspective of the water. And I certainly can't wait to share it with our nephew and enjoy many years of enjoyable turkey (and maybe a few crab and fish) dinners with our brother and sister.

My moment of pondering...

...so what is friendship anyway? And why does the definition seem to always change according to the time spent together, the activities that you partake in... when do you become an after thought and how do you not blame yourself?